Quick Sunday Thoughts: Control Over My Mindset

We made it, guys. It is the first Sunday of 2021! This New Year season feels very different for me. Last year, I was hustling, trying to sell my custom program or personal training services to people wanting to get healthy in the New Year.

This year, I’m honestly just chilling. I’m at the point where I don’t really know what I want to do, but I definitely do not want to try to sell things to the people setting some sort of resolution for 2021.

Also in these first few days of the new year, I am focusing a lot on setting my own mindset. Controlling my mindset and my thoughts was something I was very good at after being in therapy. Then the struggles of 2020 happened and I slipped up a bit!

The turning point for me lately was finding out that a fellow coach at work has been talking about me behind my back. I’m not going to go into detail here, because that is not important.

What is important is my response. My initial thought was that if said coach wanted to be petty, then I would be petty right back. I can play this game, and I can play it better than anyone else. Yep, I would give this person a taste of her medicine.

After about a day of stewing on it, I realized something: this is the mindset that makes me bitter, not better.

Would it feel good to give this coach a taste of their own medicine? Yeah, it probably would, for about a minute.

You know what would make me feel even better? Demonstrating that I am better than this behavior; that it is completely beneath me. Showing people who are aware of the situation that I can be the bigger person. 

It might suck to swallow my pride a little bit, but in the long run I know that this is the right choice. And I know that because I already feel better. I’m not even angry about it anymore.

There is a lot of truth to unpack here; a lot I’ve unpacked and a lot anyone going through a similar situation could (and should) unpack.

First of all, you can’t control how others treat you, but you CAN control how you respond to it.

How others treat you says everything you need to know about them. At the same time, how you respond says everything people need to know about you.

It is okay to initially be angry about anything that makes you angry.

It is important to not act while you are angry and to be calculated in your response.

Perhaps most importantly, it is necessary to focus on you and your own mindset, instead of on someone else and their behavior. When you focus on yourself and your own development, you start to not care about how others behave; and you won’t even pay attention to those who behave unfairly or immaturely.

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