Featured photo taken by Freddy Castro | Source: Unsplash
Remember how I said 2020 was my period of massive growth?
The first four months of 2021 laughed at that and then said, “hold my beer!”
The first quarter of 2021 has been filled with some interesting events and lessons, that’s for sure.
I’ve continued with my sustainable living journey, where it is common for me to research a question I have, watch a documentary, listen to a podcast, or read a book…. only to have even more questions than I did before.
I’m still learning about how to be a good human and stand up for what is right; learning about the injustices in the world that don’t impact me but I need to care about anyways.
And through all of this, I’ve learned about the type of person I am and becoming more confident. I thought I was done growing in 2020 but these past four months have taught me that I am never done with personal growth. There is always room to become a better person.
#1: Energy does not lie.
Throughout my life, especially my young adult and adult life, I’ve always been a pretty good judgment of character. My intuition about people is typically spot-on.
However, one of my greatest flaws is that I often ignore that intuition because I don’t want to seem paranoid and I often believe the best in people.
The first four months of this year brought some new people into my life that at first, I was like, “sweet! New friends!” and then less than a month later, I started getting those weird “feelies” as I call them about some of these people. The energy just shifted and I felt it, even if it wasn’t completely obvious to others.
After a bit it became obvious and other people started noticing, which just confirmed with me that energy doesn’t lie and I need to stop doubting myself.
The reality of life is that everyone has energy or an aura. Some people have bitterness hanging around them because they are always bitter. Some people have peacefulness around them because they’ve mastered being peaceful. There are different types of energies.
I believe in the law of attraction when it comes to this stuff. If you’re bitter all the time, you’re going to attract bitterness. If you’re chill and peaceful, that is what you will attract. I’ve learned this from experience which is why I have done so. much. work. over the last four years to go from being that bitter, “poor me” person into someone confident and mentally strong.
#2: Not everything I write needs to be published.
If you’ve been paying attention to my blog, you might have noticed that I am missing a few blog posts. That is because after leaving them up for a bit, I went back and read them; and I didn’t appreciate my tone. I sounded bitter.
Being a writer and someone who writes almost every day about anything and everything, sometimes I do write out of anger or because I had a sudden realization about my past.
Sometimes I want to share the lessons of my past with other people because I think they are valuable lessons.
Like I said above, though, not everything I write needs to be published.
This doesn’t mean that I regret what I write or wrote. I now realize that people may take my words and misinterpret them.
In addition to that, some experiences and people just don’t deserve to exist on my blog.
I’ve already practiced this lesson. I wrote a blog post about why I quit my coaching job at OrangeTheory. It was quite literally a “tell-all” because I was so disappointed.
But then I stopped myself and asked, “Why do you want to post this? What are you going to get out of this? How will you feel in a few weeks when you read this on your blog? Do these people deserve to be on your blog?”
Why did I want to post it? I guess I felt like I owed people an explanation or my side of the story… but I don’t.
What would I get out of it? Not a single thing that was worthwhile.
How would I feel later about it? Embarrassed because I sounded like I was complaining.
Do these people deserve to be on my blog?
Hell. To. The. No.
And that was that.
I now have a folder on my Google Drive labeled, “DO NOT PUBLISH.”
#3: I can’t control how people treat me or react to my actions.
I can’t control whether or not people like me. I can’t control whether they find my words offensive, whether they are written or spoken. I can’t control how people treat me when I do something that makes them angry… like quitting my job.
I’ve always known this, but it is something that I had to keep reminding myself as I was being harassed online by ex-coworkers and their families.
I couldn’t control their behavior.
I could control my reactions though, so I blocked everyone and went on with my life.
The best thing to keep in mind when it comes to people treating you is that their behavior is simply a reflection of them; not of you.
At the same time, be aware that the same goes for you. The way you treat others is a reflection of you, not of them. We all get those initial urges after something happens to “get even” or make them feel the way they made you feel. Try to sit with that urge for a bit because it will go away eventually (this is something I learned before this year).
#4: Sticking up for yourself is one of the best ways to practice self-love.
It also makes you feel all these weird feelies all that once… guilt, shame, confidence, scared, happy. You name it, you’ll probably feel it. Once you push past all of these feelings, you feel free.
When you stick up for yourself, you are setting a boundary. You are demonstrating to others what you will or will not tolerate. Once you’ve set that boundary, do your best to not go back on it. Some people will try to cross it because they don’t take you seriously or they just don’t listen. Don’t let them! Stand your ground.
Ultimately, quitting my coaching job was a result of me standing up for myself and not getting the result that I had desired. I respect myself too much to settle for less than I deserve so I left.
#5: Be the influence you think the world needs.
We see the quote all the time, “be the change.” We scoff at it because there’s no way one person can change the world, right?
That may be true but think about it this way.
You can influence the world around you simply by being you and sharing what you are passionate about. At least one person is listening.
Then they start learning and influencing the world around them, where they influence at least one more person.
Who then goes and influences their space, which will speak to at least one other person.
See the trickle effect here? It all started with you.
You may not be able to change the entire world, but you can change people’s world.
So stop telling yourself that you’re just one person and no one will listen to you. If you’re kind and passionate, people will listen to you.
#6: I need to define my niche here.
This is a realization I’ve had over the last few days.
I’ve been having fun being a “catch-all” kind of blog and Instagram account, but I also feel like if I finally define my niche then my content won’t be all over the place. I love being a personal trainer, mental health advocate, nutrition coach, digital artist, writer, and bookworm all in one… but I think maybe people are confused.
Maybe I’m confused.
This is one of those “to be continued” things. Perhaps it is something I will figure out in May!